It is so good to be back at Whitworth.
I love the campus, and the professors, and my classmates, and dance aerobics classes, and the Corner House, and biking around with hipster undergrads...the list doesn't stop.
God is receving near constant Thank you's and Alleluia's from me. I'm reading Exodus right now and I can't help identifying with the deliverance theme. Okay okay, I'm being melodramatic and the Tri-Cities doesn't really compare with slavery. But, I can still be thankful.
The first week of MIT was exhausting and I was just trying to keep my head above water. I'm in a groove now and soaking up the 7 hours of lecture each day. At lunch, I played frisbee with a couple of guys from my classes and about 20 of us went to Taste of Thai tonight. Tomorrow we get to hear what Analisa's cohort has been researching during their time in the program.
Things with my parents are not so good. Prayers are welcome. I'm a bit worried about the way Cameron will deal with everything.
I'm planning on checking out Hoopfest this weekend and hanging out with one of my friends from high school in Cour d'Alene. Maybe I'll post some pictures next blog!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Va-vi-va-va...
...as my dear friends Rylie and Borat would say. This post is going to be drastically different from the last. So much has happened in the course of two weeks. I have some things to praise about:
- My lower back (that I screwed up in November) is healing. I don't know what was wrong with it or how it is getting better, but I thank God that I have most of my range of motion back.
- I am done with my job at Habitat. Definitely a hard decision to make but I know it's the right one. I have learned a lot about myself and the type of work environment I need. I will never hold another desk job again, if I can help it. I want to be on my feet, moving around, among young people and hopefully near a window.
- The Whitworth MITprogram accepted me into the 2011 cohort! Also a crazy-fast life switch but I'm so excited. I'll be in school (my comfort zone), around Whitworth professors and staff, and working toward a fulfilling career.
- I have a place to live for the summer. I'll be back in the Corner House for June and July and then it looks like I'll be travelling around a bit in August.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Bullet Points
Things that you might want to know...
- Danika and Ebay came down to the Tri-Cities for Carl Chan's wedding. A great time was had by all even though the weekend didn't last long enough!
- I've been seriously depressed about my job for the past month, I had a breakdown on Tuesday and left work because I couldn't stop crying, talked to my boss the next day and had my job description changed. I'm trying to take it day by day now, knowing that Habitat is temporary. I might be there for another week or another year--as long as I need it to pay my loans off.
- I went to a counselor to get help with my job predicament. He put things into focus and told me to evaluate why I'm working at Habitat and make the job work for me. As long as it fulfills certain needs and wants in my life, it's worth the unpleasant moments. If ever it stops fulfilling those needs, I'm free to leave and explore something else.
- I'm applying for an MIT program put on through the community college in town. YAY! It will be 5 semesters straight of Friday and Saturday classes but eventually I will get to teach. Again, if the program isn't a fit or if I decide that I really don't want to teach, I'm unattached and willing to let it go.
- After working through some of these tougher what-does-the-future-have-in-store-for-me questions, I realized that I still have a travel bug and being "stuck" in the Tri-Cities is a self-imposed problem. So, I'm looking for plane tickets to travel to Chile in December and thinking of going on a Eurotrip next July. Anybody interested?
Monday, May 9, 2011
On Saturday at 2PM I left the Habitat Office after tearing down the biggest event that I have ever put on. The Walk Home 5K/1mi saga is over. Hallelujah!
I really did enjoy myself the day of the event but the stress was so oppressive leading up to it. I woke up at 4:45AM because my upper-back/chest pain decided to beat my alarm clock to the punch. I picked up coffee for the volunteers, directed the traffic cones and stage to their respective places, ran to retrieve tables, chairs, food, paper etc., made some announcements, counted money and talked to our sponsors. It was great to see E-bay and Analisa show up with a Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks and catch my breath--you girls know me so well!
After a failed attempt at a nap at home the girls drove me to Spokane where my family and I met up with Ali who just got back from Central America. We ate way too much restaurant food and spent a couple hours debriefing about the students' reentry into American culture. We spent 6 hours bonding as I picked dead lice eggs out of her hair on Sunday night. The little suckers (ha!) are a real pain in the bum but we got to talk and watch I30 Rock together. I'm excited to hear more about her adventures when she gets home on Thursday.
Josh Cleveland (RD) met up with me for coffee at Pleasant Blends in Spookaloo. We talked about vocation and fulfillment and God. He's so great. I really appreciated him listening and giving me feedback about my life situation.
I'm off to small group now. It's Italian night. Ciao!
I really did enjoy myself the day of the event but the stress was so oppressive leading up to it. I woke up at 4:45AM because my upper-back/chest pain decided to beat my alarm clock to the punch. I picked up coffee for the volunteers, directed the traffic cones and stage to their respective places, ran to retrieve tables, chairs, food, paper etc., made some announcements, counted money and talked to our sponsors. It was great to see E-bay and Analisa show up with a Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks and catch my breath--you girls know me so well!
After a failed attempt at a nap at home the girls drove me to Spokane where my family and I met up with Ali who just got back from Central America. We ate way too much restaurant food and spent a couple hours debriefing about the students' reentry into American culture. We spent 6 hours bonding as I picked dead lice eggs out of her hair on Sunday night. The little suckers (ha!) are a real pain in the bum but we got to talk and watch I30 Rock together. I'm excited to hear more about her adventures when she gets home on Thursday.
Josh Cleveland (RD) met up with me for coffee at Pleasant Blends in Spookaloo. We talked about vocation and fulfillment and God. He's so great. I really appreciated him listening and giving me feedback about my life situation.
I'm off to small group now. It's Italian night. Ciao!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Maybe today!
Good morning Monday. It's good to see you again. I was toying with the thought ofgoing in to work today but you, my weekend, are too relaxing to leave. I'll leave Tuesday through Saturday for the phone calls and planning. Today is meant for recovery and preparation.
Saturday is the culmination of a project I've been working on since December--The Walk Home 5K/1mi for Habitat. There is so much that has come together to make it possible and I am going to need to cling close to God this week to avoid the stress and anxiety that could precede the big event. Analisa is coming into Kennewick to run the 5K and spend some time with me and I'm so excited to see her. Ande was right in her message to us this past week--the Corner House girls are an island of joy and peace among the sea of stress and unknowns. I love you girls so much.
I'm reading The Shack by William P. Young and it's an answered prayer. I have been struggling with stress and overcommitment and it paints a beautiful picture of what truly counts--a relationship with God. The book tells the story of a desperate man who goes out into the woods to spend the weekend with the Trinity. In the last chapter I read, the Holy Spirit (in the form of an asian woman who loves to garden), explains that humanity's determination to define good and evil and our lust for control has lead us away from the relationship for which we were created.
I see this happen over and over again in my own life: I feel lost and frantic so I make rules and try to keep everything under control. I overcrowd my life with activities that I "should" do, things that I decide are part of God's will for me. I end up overcome by anxiety, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. My body physically screams at me to let go of the burden and still I don't trust God to take over.
I came across a Bible verse this morning and it goes along with what God keeps revealing:
1 Corinthians 15: 24, 26 "Then the end will come, when He hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority, and power...The last enemy to be destroyed is death."
Once again I need Jesus to destroy the dominion, authority, and power that I try to wield. Again I hand my life over for God's kingdom. There is no doubt in my mind that I will lose focus and return to this place of desperation. What hope we have in the promise to be part of a perfect kingdom someday. Maybe today :)
Saturday is the culmination of a project I've been working on since December--The Walk Home 5K/1mi for Habitat. There is so much that has come together to make it possible and I am going to need to cling close to God this week to avoid the stress and anxiety that could precede the big event. Analisa is coming into Kennewick to run the 5K and spend some time with me and I'm so excited to see her. Ande was right in her message to us this past week--the Corner House girls are an island of joy and peace among the sea of stress and unknowns. I love you girls so much.
I'm reading The Shack by William P. Young and it's an answered prayer. I have been struggling with stress and overcommitment and it paints a beautiful picture of what truly counts--a relationship with God. The book tells the story of a desperate man who goes out into the woods to spend the weekend with the Trinity. In the last chapter I read, the Holy Spirit (in the form of an asian woman who loves to garden), explains that humanity's determination to define good and evil and our lust for control has lead us away from the relationship for which we were created.
I see this happen over and over again in my own life: I feel lost and frantic so I make rules and try to keep everything under control. I overcrowd my life with activities that I "should" do, things that I decide are part of God's will for me. I end up overcome by anxiety, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. My body physically screams at me to let go of the burden and still I don't trust God to take over.
I came across a Bible verse this morning and it goes along with what God keeps revealing:
1 Corinthians 15: 24, 26 "Then the end will come, when He hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority, and power...The last enemy to be destroyed is death."
Once again I need Jesus to destroy the dominion, authority, and power that I try to wield. Again I hand my life over for God's kingdom. There is no doubt in my mind that I will lose focus and return to this place of desperation. What hope we have in the promise to be part of a perfect kingdom someday. Maybe today :)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Psalm 6
I have been away from the blogging world for about a month I'm guessing. Finally, on my Monday morning off, I feel like I have some time to check up on my friends and post an update as well.
The truth is that I haven't made time in the past month to do anything unplanned or truly relaxing. Even my downtime has been plagued by an intrinsic motivation to be productive. Enjoyable activities like playing guitar have become pressured practice. Coffee dates are dreaded appointments and girls night is more of a commitment than a time to chill.
I've also been really crippled by the pain in my lower back since November. As a lot of you know, I've struggled with pain in my chest and upper back and that came back as well last week. Past experience has led me to believe that most of this pain is a result of emotional, mental and physical stress. So last weekend I had to reevaluate my perpetual productivity and ask myself for the millionth time why I keep coming back to this pit of stress and anxiety.
Before I could fully process the twisted inner workings of my mind I started to cut the stressors out. Last Monday I went into the ESL class where I tutor and said that I wouldn't be coming back for a while. After that, I went to my old high school and told Mr. Simpson that I wouldn't be taking guitar lessons for the next three weeks. On Wednesday I told our local sports bar manager that I would no longer be available to organize trivia nights. I cancelled my ridiculously expensive physical therapy sessions and skipped out on girls night. I let my friends, family and coworkers know how stressed out I was and I prayed a lot.
Please pray for me if you read this. I believe Christ has the power to take all of this physical and emotional pain away and I hope that it will end soon. If you're reading this, you're probably one of my closest friends so if you see me becoming too involved and obsessed with productivity, please remind me what happens when I get too far down that path. Ok time to read what's happening in YOUR lives.
The truth is that I haven't made time in the past month to do anything unplanned or truly relaxing. Even my downtime has been plagued by an intrinsic motivation to be productive. Enjoyable activities like playing guitar have become pressured practice. Coffee dates are dreaded appointments and girls night is more of a commitment than a time to chill.
I've also been really crippled by the pain in my lower back since November. As a lot of you know, I've struggled with pain in my chest and upper back and that came back as well last week. Past experience has led me to believe that most of this pain is a result of emotional, mental and physical stress. So last weekend I had to reevaluate my perpetual productivity and ask myself for the millionth time why I keep coming back to this pit of stress and anxiety.
Before I could fully process the twisted inner workings of my mind I started to cut the stressors out. Last Monday I went into the ESL class where I tutor and said that I wouldn't be coming back for a while. After that, I went to my old high school and told Mr. Simpson that I wouldn't be taking guitar lessons for the next three weeks. On Wednesday I told our local sports bar manager that I would no longer be available to organize trivia nights. I cancelled my ridiculously expensive physical therapy sessions and skipped out on girls night. I let my friends, family and coworkers know how stressed out I was and I prayed a lot.
Please pray for me if you read this. I believe Christ has the power to take all of this physical and emotional pain away and I hope that it will end soon. If you're reading this, you're probably one of my closest friends so if you see me becoming too involved and obsessed with productivity, please remind me what happens when I get too far down that path. Ok time to read what's happening in YOUR lives.
Monday, March 28, 2011
HFHI Conference
I returned to the Pasco airport at 11:05 on Friday night. I was exhausted from three days of information overload, late nights talking with my boss and coworkers, and the three hour time difference. I had to pull myself our of bed 7 hours later to visit the various groups volunteering with us on Saturday and spend the afternoon at the United Methodist Women luncheon as the guest speaker.
After my spiel at the luncheon, the hostess took the microphone, said thank you and added "The passion in your voice makes it so plain to see that you are in the right job." We can thank the conference for that.
About a week ago I was telling my mom that passion was precisely what I was not finding at Habitat. I was going through the motions and daily having to remind myself that my work was important. After spending the week with 2000 other Habitat employees and hearing testimonies of the change that we are making in so many people's lives, I felt empowered and truly excited to get back to my day job.
What really grabbed me by the hair and got my attention was the everpresent reminders of the faith-based mission on which Habitat for Humanity is based. Every speaker gave glory to God and every day started with prayer to remind us of what had brought us to Habitat in the first place. Habitat is now the largest private homebuilder in the U.S. but when you try to give kudos to the C.E.O., he'll be the first to send that credit straight toward Heaven. I am completely humbled and so grateful to have found purpose in my work. I know that I'll have my lows again someday but for the time-being I'm rejoicing in the high!
After my spiel at the luncheon, the hostess took the microphone, said thank you and added "The passion in your voice makes it so plain to see that you are in the right job." We can thank the conference for that.
About a week ago I was telling my mom that passion was precisely what I was not finding at Habitat. I was going through the motions and daily having to remind myself that my work was important. After spending the week with 2000 other Habitat employees and hearing testimonies of the change that we are making in so many people's lives, I felt empowered and truly excited to get back to my day job.
What really grabbed me by the hair and got my attention was the everpresent reminders of the faith-based mission on which Habitat for Humanity is based. Every speaker gave glory to God and every day started with prayer to remind us of what had brought us to Habitat in the first place. Habitat is now the largest private homebuilder in the U.S. but when you try to give kudos to the C.E.O., he'll be the first to send that credit straight toward Heaven. I am completely humbled and so grateful to have found purpose in my work. I know that I'll have my lows again someday but for the time-being I'm rejoicing in the high!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)