I have been away from the blogging world for about a month I'm guessing. Finally, on my Monday morning off, I feel like I have some time to check up on my friends and post an update as well.
The truth is that I haven't made time in the past month to do anything unplanned or truly relaxing. Even my downtime has been plagued by an intrinsic motivation to be productive. Enjoyable activities like playing guitar have become pressured practice. Coffee dates are dreaded appointments and girls night is more of a commitment than a time to chill.
I've also been really crippled by the pain in my lower back since November. As a lot of you know, I've struggled with pain in my chest and upper back and that came back as well last week. Past experience has led me to believe that most of this pain is a result of emotional, mental and physical stress. So last weekend I had to reevaluate my perpetual productivity and ask myself for the millionth time why I keep coming back to this pit of stress and anxiety.
Before I could fully process the twisted inner workings of my mind I started to cut the stressors out. Last Monday I went into the ESL class where I tutor and said that I wouldn't be coming back for a while. After that, I went to my old high school and told Mr. Simpson that I wouldn't be taking guitar lessons for the next three weeks. On Wednesday I told our local sports bar manager that I would no longer be available to organize trivia nights. I cancelled my ridiculously expensive physical therapy sessions and skipped out on girls night. I let my friends, family and coworkers know how stressed out I was and I prayed a lot.
Please pray for me if you read this. I believe Christ has the power to take all of this physical and emotional pain away and I hope that it will end soon. If you're reading this, you're probably one of my closest friends so if you see me becoming too involved and obsessed with productivity, please remind me what happens when I get too far down that path. Ok time to read what's happening in YOUR lives.
