Bullet Points

Things that you might want to know...

• Danika and Ebay came down to the Tri-Cities for Carl Chan's wedding. A great time was had by all even though the weekend didn't last long enough!
• I've been seriously depressed about my job for the past month, I had a breakdown on Tuesday and left work because I couldn't stop crying, talked to my boss the next day and had my job description changed.  I'm trying to take it day by day now, knowing that Habitat is temporary. I might be there for another week or another year--as long as I need it to pay my loans off.
• I went to a counselor to get help with my job predicament.  He put things into focus and told me to evaluate why I'm working at Habitat and make the job work for me. As long as it fulfills certain needs and wants in my life, it's worth the unpleasant moments.  If ever it stops fulfilling those needs, I'm free to leave and explore something else.
• I'm applying for an MIT program put on through the community college in town. YAY! It will be 5 semesters straight of Friday and Saturday classes but eventually I will get to teach. Again, if the program isn't a fit or if I decide that I really don't want to teach, I'm unattached and willing to let it go.
• After working through some of these tougher what-does-the-future-have-in-store-for-me questions, I realized that I still have a travel bug and being "stuck" in the Tri-Cities is a self-imposed problem. So, I'm looking for plane tickets to travel to Chile in December and thinking of going on a Eurotrip next July. Anybody interested?

On Saturday at 2PM I left the Habitat Office after tearing down the biggest event that I have ever put on.  The Walk Home 5K/1mi saga is over. Hallelujah!

I really did enjoy myself the day of the event but the stress was so oppressive leading up to it.  I woke up at 4:45AM because my upper-back/chest pain decided to beat my alarm clock to the punch.  I picked up coffee for the volunteers, directed the traffic cones and stage to their respective places, ran to retrieve tables, chairs, food, paper etc., made some announcements, counted money and talked to our sponsors.  It was great to see E-bay and Analisa show up with a Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks and catch my breath--you girls know me so well!

After a failed attempt at a nap at home the girls drove me to Spokane where my family and I met up with Ali who just got back from Central America.  We ate way too much restaurant food and spent a couple hours debriefing about the students' reentry into American culture.  We spent 6 hours bonding as I picked dead lice eggs out of her hair on Sunday night.  The little suckers (ha!) are a real pain in the bum but we got to talk and watch I30 Rock together. I'm excited to hear more about her adventures when she gets home on Thursday.

Josh Cleveland (RD) met up with me for coffee at Pleasant Blends in Spookaloo. We talked about vocation and fulfillment and God. He's so great.  I really appreciated him listening and giving me feedback about my life situation.

I'm off to small group now. It's Italian night. Ciao!

Maybe today!

Good morning Monday. It's good to see you again. I was toying with the thought ofgoing in to work today but you, my weekend, are too relaxing to leave.  I'll leave Tuesday through Saturday for the phone calls and planning. Today is meant for recovery and preparation.

Saturday is the culmination of a project I've been working on since December--The Walk Home 5K/1mi for Habitat.  There is so much that has come together to make it possible and I am going to need to cling close to God this week to avoid the stress and anxiety that could precede the big event. Analisa is coming into Kennewick to run the 5K and spend some time with me and I'm so excited to see her. Ande was right in her message to us this past week--the Corner House girls are an island of joy and peace among the sea of stress and unknowns. I love you girls so much.



I'm reading The Shack by William P. Young and it's an answered prayer.  I have been struggling with stress and overcommitment and it paints a beautiful picture of what truly counts--a relationship with God.  The book tells the story of a desperate man who goes out into the woods to spend the weekend with the Trinity.  In the last chapter I read, the Holy Spirit (in the form of an asian woman who loves to garden), explains that humanity's determination to define good and evil and our lust for control has lead us away from the relationship for which we were created. 

I see this happen over and over again in my own life: I feel lost and frantic so I make rules and try to keep everything under control.  I overcrowd my life with activities that I "should" do, things that I decide are part of God's will for me. I end up overcome by anxiety, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.  My body physically screams at me to let go of the burden and still I don't trust God to take over. 

I came across a Bible verse this morning and it goes along with what God keeps revealing:

1 Corinthians 15: 24, 26 "Then the end will come, when He hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority, and power...The last enemy to be destroyed is death."

Once again I need Jesus to destroy the dominion, authority, and power that I try to wield. Again I hand my life over for God's kingdom.  There is no doubt in my mind that I will lose focus and return to this place of desperation.  What hope we have in the promise to be part of a perfect kingdom someday. Maybe today :)