Psalm 6

I have been away from the blogging world for about a month I'm guessing. Finally, on my Monday morning off, I feel like I have some time to check up on my friends and post an update as well.

The truth is that I haven't made time in the past month to do anything unplanned or truly relaxing.  Even my downtime has been plagued by an intrinsic motivation to be productive.  Enjoyable activities like playing guitar have become pressured practice.  Coffee dates are dreaded appointments and girls night is more of a commitment than a time to chill.

I've also been really crippled by the pain in my lower back since November.  As a lot of you know, I've struggled with pain in my chest and upper back and that came back as well last week.  Past experience has led me to believe that most of this pain is a result of emotional, mental and physical stress.  So last weekend I had to reevaluate my perpetual productivity and ask myself for the millionth time why I keep coming back to this pit of stress and anxiety.

Before I could fully process the twisted inner workings of my mind I started to cut the stressors out.  Last Monday I went into the ESL class where I tutor and said that I wouldn't be coming back for a while.  After that, I went to my old high school and told Mr. Simpson that I wouldn't be taking guitar lessons for the next three weeks.  On Wednesday I told our local sports bar manager that I would no longer be available to organize trivia nights.  I cancelled my ridiculously expensive physical therapy sessions and skipped out on girls night.  I let my friends, family and coworkers know how stressed out I was and I prayed a lot.

Please pray for me if you read this.  I believe Christ has the power to take all of this physical and emotional pain away and I hope that it will end soon.  If you're reading this, you're probably one of my closest friends so if you see me becoming too involved and obsessed with productivity, please remind me what happens when I get too far down that path. Ok time to read what's happening in YOUR lives.

HFHI Conference

I returned to the Pasco airport at 11:05 on Friday night.  I was exhausted from three days of information overload, late nights talking with my boss and coworkers, and the three hour time difference.  I had to pull myself our of bed 7 hours later to visit the various groups volunteering with us on Saturday and spend the afternoon at the United Methodist Women luncheon as the guest speaker.

After my spiel at the luncheon, the hostess took the microphone, said thank you and added "The passion in your voice makes it so plain to see that you are in the right job."  We can thank the conference for that.

About a week ago I was telling my mom that passion was precisely what I was not finding at Habitat.  I was going through the motions and daily having to remind myself that my work was important.  After spending the week with 2000 other Habitat employees and hearing testimonies of the change that we are making in so many people's lives, I felt empowered and truly excited to get back to my day job.

What really grabbed me by the hair and got my attention was the everpresent reminders of the faith-based mission on which Habitat for Humanity is based.  Every speaker gave glory to God and every day started with prayer to remind us of what had brought us to Habitat in the first place.  Habitat is now the largest private homebuilder in the U.S. but when you try to give kudos to the C.E.O., he'll be the first to send that credit straight toward Heaven. I am completely humbled and so grateful to have found purpose in my work. I know that I'll have my lows again someday but for the time-being I'm rejoicing in the high!

I forgot to mention...

...that I'm going to Atlanta for the Habitat for Humanity International Conference! My plane leaves the Pasco airport at 6AM on Tuesday and I get back into town at 11PM on Friday.  Then Saturday I will be busy working and visiting Sharefest groups (do you know what Sharefest is?)

I'm excited to go to Georgia since I've never been down South. I'll take lots of pictures to share with you all and I'll give a recap next Sunday to detail the adventure.  Ugh...I'm tired just thinking about it all. I hope I can stay healthy!

Lent--Everyone's favorite season

Well maybe not everybody gets all hot and bothered about sacrifice and self improvement but I absolutely love the challenge. As Ash Wednesday approached last week I was brainstorming things that I could give up, devising ways to get closer to God, and asking my family what they were doing to celebrate the season.  Then I realized that I was probably approaching Lent with the wrong attitude.  When your plans to get spiritually in tune via Reese's abstinence coincide with daydreams of looking awesome in a bikini, you have to question your motives.

So I decided to scrap my anti-chocolate sentiment in exchange for morning quiet time. I've been sick since Thursday so that time has grown exponentially over the past week.  A killer sore throat kept me away from work for two and a half days so I've been reading my Isabel Allende book, watching Modern Family, and hanging out with the family.

I went to Crossview (the church started by a Whitworth grad) again on Saturday.  I still don't feel a real desire to set roots there.  Does that mean that I need to put more effort in and get involved or do I keep looking for something that clicks right away? All I know is that I need to find a group of people that share the same values as me.  Otherwise I'll end up spending too much time with the promiscous engineeers at the sports bar without any other social anchor...a recipe for bad news.

Here's to Friends!

Ever since I got done with Almost Maine my social life has exploded.  I'm getting together with three girls from high school (Dana, Shiv and Holly) on a weekly basis, making trips to see friends in Spokane, Portland and Seattle (that trip is coming in April), hanging out with coworkers after work (we're making pesto tonight), and meeting new friends in the T.C.  Last week I went to trivia night at a bar in Richland and met four guys that were about my age--all of them smart, funny, nice, pretty cute. Where have they been hiding for the past six months?! I'm very happy these days and soaking up the good vibes that the people in my social circle emanate. 

Right now I'm in Portland and it's 8:30 AM on a Monday.  I came to see my longtime friend Sean and he doesn't do mornings. So I'm taking the opportunity to catch up a bit on the ol' blog, practice guitar, organize my iTunes, maybe walk to Starbucks...I'll head back to the Tri after Sean goes to work and perhaps hike Multnomah Falls on the way.  I feel a little sluggish after Saturday night's boozy karaoke escapade, a visit to Voodoo Doughnuts (GET THE MAPLE BACON DOUGHNUT!), and a weekend of eating meals in a house void of vegetables.  It was nice to catch up with Sean though and I wish I could stay here a bit longer.

I'm looking forward to Lent starting on Wednesday.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  There are so many aspects of my life in which I could impose a little discipline, so many better uses of my time and money.  I need to pick one of them this month and work through sacrifice a bit. Do any of you have plans for Lent?

Thanks A Lot (that's a Raffi Song)

Oh the blogs are getting scarcer and scarcer.

Here is my list of things to be thankful for:

1. Whitworth: I'm constantly reminded of the excellent education I received during my four years in college.  I got to spend my freshman year in the Best Place on Earth, my sophomore year with the greatest leadership team of all time, my junior year preparing for and experiencing Chile, and my final year with the 7 most wonderful young women I know.

2. Spring: I've never been a fan of this season until last weekend.  The sun came out and the highs were in the 60s. I went running by the river, hiked up Badger Mountain, and played "Here Comes the Sun" on my back porch.

3. Friends: The past three weeks have brought more social interaction into my world than I can believe. A visit from 5 of the Corner House girls in Kennewick, spending Thursday nights watching 30 Rock with my girlfriends from high school (Shivyon, Holly, and Dana), and a trip to Spokane to look forward to this coming weekend.

4. God: I thought about rearranging this and putting God first but that's just not how I did it originally. Sorry. I've had a lot of God-you-are-so-awesome-can-you-just-rapture-us-already? moments lately.  I'm so thankful to be spiritually fulfilled right now and aware of His presence and I'm so excited for the day when I feel like this forever!

5. Time: Oh how sweet these moments are! Hours and hours to spend without an impending rehearsal. Friday and Saturday nights to watch movies with my family.  This season in my life is so carefree. I'm young and unanchored and free to create and work and play. Hallelujah!

On Stage

At 6 o'clock on Friday I headed up the narrow staircase of the Richland Players Theater toward the old green room.  It was the opening night of Almost Maine and all of the cast was milling about mumbling lines under their breath and getting out their makeup cases.  We had two hours before the show started and everybody was on edge.  After two months of memorizing lines, stage decorating, and rehearsals in the ancient theater, we were as ready as we'd ever be.

We put on makeup, did hair, and made sure our costumes were laid out for changes between scenes as we listened to the audio feed from the theater.  As the clock approached 8, the crowd got louder and louder and the whole crew gathered in the green room for one last "Hurrah!" before the show. 

I crept down the old rickety stairs that led down to the stage before my first scene. Two other actors and I sat in darkness backstage listening to our friends deliver lines that we all knew by heart.  As I sat behind the curtain, listening to the crowd laugh and sigh, I thanked God for the excitement I felt.  I prayed that I wouldn't blank out on stage but conceded that if I did, life would go on and the world wouldn't end. 

As it turned out, we had a hell of a show. There weren't any huge mishaps to speak of, and nobody drowned in that foreboding pool of stagefright.  My two scenes were in the first Act, and so I got to relax until the final bow.  After the show, the cast, crew and directors went out for drinks and appetizers at Applebees.  We smeared our lipstick on glasses of beer and shared deep fried everything in celebration of a fabulous opening night.

Putting on make up.

Sexy sexy...before make up and costume.



All done up as Villian the waitress.